i wish i could discover something that doesn't expire,

allow me to make no exact sense in this post. i would like to free my mind with random pieces of thoughts. i've been inside my head with these thoughts way too much lately. if you read this, you will truly understand me more clearly. and possibly... be able to relate to some or most of these things more than you could have imagined. or you know what? you could read this and be very confused and will not care about what i say at all. that's actually very likely. anyway, i hope you can find yourself in some of these things.

i guess i am just some sort of floating object, flying through space, hoping to get caught and brought back to earth. i'm still waiting for this to happen.

"even angels have their wicked schemes, and you take that to new extremes, but you’ll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind."

i'm scared that if i let myself be happy for even one moment, that the world will come crashing down. and i don't know if i can survive that.

somehow, it just dawned on me that everything beautiful will eventually break out hearts. or our hands will eventually break everything that is beautiful.

it is the scariest thing ever to realize how much someone means to you. when it hits you, it hits you harder than you can bare. the saddest emtions begin to creep on you slowly as you start to wonder...

i'm all glued back together now. i make no apologies for how i chose to repair what you broke.

nobody broke my heart, i broke my own, because i can't finish what i start.

when will you finally realize you're pushing me away? when it's too late?

i don't care if it's not going anywhere. i really like wasting my time on you.

my head is a complicated pile of thoughts, and fears, and cravings, and dreams, and this tangled up nostalgia for the past and, somehow, the future. i am flawed and i am human and i am broken and i am trying.

it always shocked when i realized i wasn't the only person in this world who thought and felt such strange things.

confession: i feel like i always have something to say but never say it. i feel like my words don't mean much to anyone except for me. i feel no one would understand the thoughts that run through my head. i feel like i would be better off leaving everything unsaid.

it's not working for me.

i'm losing the most important person in my life, that scares me to death and i don't know how to deal with it.

you've impacted my life so much and you don't even know it.

i've changed so much, but nothing else has. this has left me feeling very confused.

it's one thing to say we're abandoned, and we don't belong here at all. but the truth is, there is no explanation for our existence. all we have to know is, we will survive when everything falls down. because you know it will at some point.

sometimes i just stop and have a moment that feels exactly like i am in an old photograph that somebody is looking at wishing they were in the moment. i look around, see beauty, feel the world. and i feel so satisfied with what god has given me.

"i never really know what to say. when i let my emotions get in the way. and i'm just trying to get us on the same page. i always get it better right afterwards. when all the wrong impressions are said and heard. how come i can never get the right words? i need to convey. wish i could explain."

-the listening by lights. <3

that is exactly how i feel.

forever my love,

corbin.