Thinking...

Today I bought some shoes. This school thing is exaughsting already, and school hasn't even started. Thinking about it is enough.
It's hard to believe I'm in 11th grade. I'm actually just relieved.
I know so much is ahead of me, and that's really refreshing :)

You know, I've been thinking about life and when I think about my future life...here's what I think about:


Traveling and seeing beautiful places.
Being with my family.
Having (many) children.
Doing things that are adventurous & really make life worth living.
Being just generally happy.

Are those high hopes? Are they reachable? I don't know. I'll have to live my life and see. Those aren't even close to all of my aspirations, but those are the things that I've been thinking about.

I'm in the weirdest mood ever. I feel like doing absolutely nothing. That's unusual for me.
I feel a bit stressed, also. I don't feel like talking to anyone, which is also unusual for me. So I won't. I'll do nothing, I won't talk to anyone. I just need to go to sleep early, wake up, and start over.

I wish I lived near a lake. I would be sitting on a doc & just thinking.

Please don't judge me.

I guess it's the fact that I can't change certain things that pries into my mind.
I guess it's just that people see me differently than who I really am.

If you would take the time to know me, you'd know that I will become friends with anyone who needs a friend. I'll pray for the stranger that shoves me on purpose. I'll give the shoes I have to you if you don't have much.

So who is anyone to judge? I try not to judge people...& yet, still...people are wrapped up in their silly little lives, stressing about nothing and MY life.

I plan on becoming a better person as I get older, but I DO NOT plan on changing who I am for the acceptance of others. Especially ones who think they know the world, when they are so close-minded that they can't see what's worth living for.

just to fly away.

Unanswered Prayers

There's a song that I love.

It says:
remember when you're taking to the man upstairs
just because he doesn't answer, doesn't mean he doesn't care
Some of God's answered prayers are unanswered prayers
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.

Isn't that so true?

Yes, I believe.

The rain keeps hitting my window
Oh, so slow
It reminds me of the times
You stared at me endlessly into my eyes
If you take my hand
If you help me stand
You'll help me get out of this
And show me you do exist

God.

God is miraculous, & premeditated.
Question: If God is for me, how can anyone be against me?
Answer: they can't.

I fear nothing. I know even though I may be troubled sometimes, God is still leading me down my path.
And isn't that awesome?
Answer: YES.

CONFESSION: Sometimes I wonder how I'm going to get up when I fall. Sometimes I see people around me constantly falling. But then I remember...they don't have God like I do. Okay, they have Him, but they don't know Him like I do.
THE TRUTH: I'm not worrying anymore.

My life is all planned out for me. I'm not going to perplex over it. And that excites me. :)

Accident?

I've been having the weirdest feelings ever. Maybe they're just in my head, or maybe I should follow my gut.
A few weeks ago, I saw a truck pass me while in the car. It was dark green. We were on the express way, so we were by him for a little while. I started becoming overwhelmed with feelings. I saw that truck getting into an accident, and that man dying. Not literally. But in my mind. I was frozen with emotions as I looked at it, and tears filled my eyes, without actually running down my face. I seriously felt like I was feeling all the emotions he would be feeling when the tragedy would happen.

I feel like such a freak. Who knows if it actually happened or will? I really, really hope not.
I guess it's not the first time for me...

I just started thinking about it again.

I don't know why, I don't know how, I don't know if it's even true.



Why is nothing ever good enough
For the things that are around us?
I keep finding myself stumbling
I don’t know what’s wrong, but I know it’s something

THE NOTEBOOK!

this movie is so amazing. i love nicholas sparks' books. i would absolutely love to collect them. i love his writing style, i look up to him so much.


-i'm thinking about actually getting to sleep before 2 AM tonight...school is in less than a week. One part of me is excited. One part is hesitant, one part nervous.

-goodnight. lovelovelove. <3

Poem- This is where we have to be

For a while, we were gone like the wind picked us up and carried us so gently
Sitting us down with pride, we watched our world fall, and we observed all we could see
Everything went so fast, just like the merry-go-round we spun on years ago
Soon the season would change like we did, and the wind will blow
As we climb this ladder of life,
whispering along the way,
We forget our pasts,
and soon we go astray
Lost in this moment seems a bit too exaggerated
But I can't be without you without being jaded
For a while, we were gone like the wind picked us up and carried us so gently
For a while, this is where we have to be.

lost in words

I find it neccessary to write. It's something I can't control. I get lost in words.


i guess i will never understand the cruelty of the world.





but the time taken up is never enough, and he's all that I need to fall into.

Runaway

I heard a song called "a runaway". He's talking about him wanting to be a runaway for a day, just to do things for himself and to not worry about anything.
Maybe that's what I need. Without being a runaway. Maybe a little less extreme, like taking a walk.
By the way, that early morning jog I was talking about...yeah, didn't happen.

I don't want to spend my life jaded. And I won't.

(:

i love this.


by the way, make sure you scroll down, i really want you to read a "story" i wrote called fall memories.

:)

This picture was by my house. I took it from my phone, so it looks a bit blurry.






This is where we fall apart
All this time you broke my heart
I'm lost in this moment
That seemed so important
Like that lost, stolen boy
Whose world was destroyed
Like a crack in the window leading to someone
It's that knot becoming undone
I see that face of an angel in the mirror
And as the fog lifts, you become clearer

Perceptions

The stars are above us
They're one thing I can trust
Just as you, said you'd come running
Here I am, waiting for something.

I just wrote that in about...oh, 15 seconds. How weird I am. It still amazes me.

Today I've heard more arguing than a heart should hold, but hey, I'm strong. I'm realizing how much I've actually grown lately. Maybe more than I know?

One thing is, I want to go for a run, I want to forget about everything. Maybe I should wake up early tomorrow and go for a jog. I doubt that will actually happen.

Lately I've been loving acoustic music and some country. I don't know. It relaxes me.

I LOVE inspiration. And I think what gives me it the most is photography. It just shows the beauty in life. And I love that.




let me love the way i want to.




don't turn away, for your eyes will meet something else.



how can i get so lost in pictures? it's like i'm living this life that i so badly would love.



everyone has their own perception of beauty. mine would be being in this picture right now.




"would you rather live in the city or country?" well i love both. i want to see a lot of both. but i would choose country any day.

Poem-a train in the rain

THESE ALL COME FROM MY WEBSITE. TO VIEW MORE THINGS I'VE WRITTEN, GO TO
www.livelaughcorbin.weebly.com/the-pieces-of-life.html

Take the time everyday
To remember everything I say
Before you go away
Watch my heart decay.
You walked over the railroad tracks
And as you fell over the cracks
I saw myself start to cry,
You were falling and I didn't know why
That loud, echo of the train
Was just as deadly in the rain
And still, I stood in the pouring storm
Waching it come closer and slowly,
you would transform.

Poem-I wonder who I really am

That summer went to fast
We knew it wouldn't last
Somehow it all crashed down
You didn't even frown
Maybe that's something I can envy
But it's someone I'll never be
That smile, those eyes
They'll never lie
I stopped right where I was the night we swam
Sometimes I wonder who I really am
Cuz you can tell me I'm so strong
But everything still feels so wrong
That fall went so slow
You said, something I know
is that you'll always be the girl
Who's not afraid of this world
That's just the way life goes
Ups and downs I suppose
You said, don't worry about them
I still wonder who I really am

Poem- your presence is lingering in the air

Your presence is lingering in the air
With your spirit lying right there
I saw in your smile,you were so bright-eyed
Everything that makes your world collide
It all crashed down from the day you turned twenty one
you noticed your life was slowly becoming undone
i can still hear that voice
I know you had no choice
Your heart was slowing down
You felt like you had drowned
Your presence is lingering in the air
From that single last glare,
we knew.
We no longer hide in what we don't know,
You know you're okay although...
We hear you call our names in dispair
Your presence is still lingering in the air

These things are what make life matter...

My own piece of the world!

All I want is to be happy. I don't expect the world. Just my own personal slice of the world. See, I don't have to have the whole pie to be satisfied. I can have one little slice and it could be the most delicious piece and fill me up perfectly!
See what I'm saying?

"Untouched"

Life is a beautiful thing I myself will never so fortunately get to realize the signifigance.
It's amazing to think about rainforests and lakes and all of the things that make everyday stresses mean nothing.
Getting lost doesn't seem like such a bad idea sometimes. We need to get lost sometimes to find our way, or to be found.
Maybe we all need to be pulled under the water and to be rescued to know we won't drown.
Perhaps we are put here for a reason. Maybe we suffer so we can later rejoice and realize how lucky we are to have the privelege to laugh.
We all need someone to lean on, someone to get lost in our eyes.
As ocean waves hit the surface, we learn who we are, but never fully understand everything about ourselves. As seasons change, so do we.
Memories come and go, but the ones that matter will remain untouched.

"A Fall Memory"

The stars cast just enough light over the trees that it shone on my face. There was a cool stillness about the forest. I was swimming through the trees, as my heart beat faster. We came to a murky, glistening pond. The fall air was thick.

I ran my fingers over a flower. I couldn't tell what kind, for the darkness felt like hiding it. All of the bugs were sleeping, hiding, or dead by now, by this time of the year. All I could see was the glowing moon on the pond and one single firefly dancing with the field of weeds.

He was almost caught up to me, and he trampled over a pile of leaves, causing them to fly different directions. Like we would be soon.

Our feet took us where they wanted us to go. It was as if I were in a story I was telling myself, looking from another point of view. My eyes rested upon the scenery staring back at me. I can still see him just as clearly as I could that night.
The sunlight wasn't as fond of us as the moon was. Our laughter was meant for the moonlight. Our voices were meant for the night that was crawling over us.