it's been so long since i felt the feeling of tomorrow,

 

*i took this photo, and edited it.

I want to love as if I have never knew the pain that resulted from it. We're all lost, we're all hoping to be found in some way. We all are begging for someone to take us away from the struggle of wanting to be loved. Not being, or feeling loved is a reason for many people to lash out, to feel helpless, to turn to things they never wanted to turn to. I wish I could show a broken soul what it feels like to be loved. I need to prove not everyone is a judmental, imprudent person. I never want to see tears that no one cares about. I never want to see someone fall to the ground, exhausted with feeling insecurities. But I would be willing to see that pain, in order to help them. I don't know how to, truthfully, but I pray that I can show someone love who has never felt it. Because everyone deserves love. And we're all capable of giving it.

But if we're not shown love, how will we know what love is? Or how to give it away?

Currently listening to: Slowly moving in by Jamestown Story
& Oceans for backyards by Isles & Glaciers afterwards.

I could cry right now.

Helplessly, admittingly vulnerably.

Things that make me cry:

(positively or negatively)

-Music that makes me think about things

-Photographs

-Not knowing

-Feeling as if I have no way out, or no control over a situation

-True love ended by death

-Struggling people

-Honest to goodness kindness

-Seeing love so strong that you can feel it

As I lay here, I wonder what you dear reader, are thinking of, while skimming or reading this post. Perhaps you're thinking of only these words and either thinking "What?" or "I agree." It's a possibility that you're thinking of someone, whom you love more than anything. Maybe you're wondering what your plans are for the rest of the day, or for tomorrow. I wonder if you feel scared, or if you feel accomplished. If you feel somber, or if you feel passion.

Whatever you're feeling or thinking of, dear reader, I hope you can find some happiness in there.

There's something more to this life. I hope you can believe we're not here for absolutely no reason. Do you think it's a coincidence that we're breathing, thinking, living? I'd be naive to think that.

My dreams kept me sleeping for a long time last night.

I'm fully convinced...once I love someone, there's nothing I could ever do to make myself stop loving them. Sometimes I don't like that. Though it's not something I would change even if possible.

this love i thought i knew,

it somehow blew right through.

with no hope of every slowing down,

here we are, bound.

- ^ just a little something i needed to write. to feel this post was finished.

my thoughts fly away when i think of you,

*I edited this photo

I want to not only have my breath taken away, but I want to take breaths away in the softest ways.

Currently listening to: Leave your bullets at the door, Luke Pickett

Sometimes perfection is about imperfect things coming together in their own way. Perfection is sometimes about things not being perfect, but being beautiful in their own way.

My secrets are painted in a way that doesn't allow the paint to dry. My voice fades, and you can't hear my screaming echoing from these walls. The air was so gently pressed against my skin, and still, I'm falling with gravity assisting my fall. I'd give up my forever lasting self to touch your white skin that's slowly disappearing, away from me in this moment. Breathing in death through my lungs has never made me feel so alive. There's no question, the world will never understand this broken glass I've thrown against anyone who's willing to love me again. I can't fight tears. I would sacrifice bleeding in a way to know that I'm still alive inside.

Sometimes I find myself so unbelievably quiet, unable to speak the words in my mind. Sometimes it's hard to handle it all, becaue I feel as if I have such a close connection to the world. Truthfully, I'll never be able to explain myself. A sense of relief, a feeling of reassurement is something I crave. If I'm not careful, I can fall back into the ominous hole I crawled so slowly out of. The energy in all that takes me away from myself, if that makes any sort of sense at all.  I suspect it doesn't. And if it does, I suspect you've felt similarly. And if you have, I want you to know there's someone out there who feels the exact same way, and there's a way to overcome it all and be yourself when the world pulls you every which way.

I want to tell you right now, that I can't imagine my life without God. I want you to know that God can set you free from worry and distress. He doesn't want you to go through life without being constantly happy. Please dear reader, choose to be happy and live your live through him.

Confessions:
1. I don't believe when people tell me I'm amazing, or someone completely special.
But I hope that I am. And am capable of seeing it someday if it is true
2. I am sensitive to the things that people I love do and say
3. I listen to music more than I do anything. truthfully
4. I love being alone without feeling lonely
5. Danger exites me
6. Sometimes writing is my only way out
7. I've wished for the same thing for a year, everytime I blew out candles, saw 11:11, bought a wish bracelet, saw one star in the sky, or prayed at night
-It hasn't come true. Yet.

-Corbin, what do you believe in?
Me: God.
-Other than religion.
Me: I guess I believe in a lot.
-Then what?
Me: I don't know...
-You know, it's pretty important in life to know what you believe in. When someone asks you what you believe in, you should know right then and there.

What they said is so true. <3
We should know exactly what we believe in, and stand by those things. We shouldn't be afraid to say those things at any moment, to whomever.
The number one thing I believe in is unconditional love. I want someone to love me for exactly who I am, and I hope that I always have that kind of love to give away. It is a love that is totally selfless, where a person gives out love to another person even if this act does not benefit them in any way.
Whether the love given is returned or not, the person continues to love.
Helping out someone even if they hate you.
Taking insults without giving them back.
Doing something without anything in return.

Please dear reader, believe in yourself.

-Thoughts change and in time they rearrange. I don't know who you are anymore.

I am love. I am strength. I am hope. I am laughter. But it's all come with a price.
These summer nights, they've drifted back to me.

Goodnight. lovelovelove.
-C