i'll run away with you by my side,

I can't guarantee I'm not going to fall sometimes. I'm here to laugh, but I can't say tears will never exist. But I can tell you, I will leave a mark on this earth. I will change something.

I feel such a sense of relief. Repairing relationships is something I'm focused on.

Currently listening to: Dreaming of this, Jamestown Story

It's been a while since I completely broke down, and I'm happy to say that. Sometimes crying feels so good. It lets everything go. Sometimes I don't even know why I'm crying, but I feel better afterwards. It's a feeling that's like no emotion. Or perhaps too many emotions? I'm not sure. I start to think about life. About the bad and good things I've experienced. And everything is so beautiful, so perfect. I don't see the negative things anymore. I avoid disaster. I don't feel completely lost anymore. I'm glad I was lost, now looking back, because sometimes we have to be lost to be found. And then everything was worth the pain.

Don't mistake me for someone who will let you go when you need me the most. If you reach out your hand, I will grab it. But I can't force anything.

I am feeling such a sense of relief. Yesterday I resolved a problem I've been holding onto, and it feels better. A person I care about was sort of distraught, and it made me feel their pain. I feel I helped them, and that's what I live for.

I've spent too much time wondering and contemplating on situations, and I've learned not to do that. I'm just living my life and taking things as it comes, and hoping for the best.

Today should be fun. A few plans :)

love forever. ♥

the world she loves will never be the world it was.

I kind of like sitting, contemplating and just being still. just being with you and your mind. and knowing that everything really will be okay.

i can almost feel the excitement my life is going to hold. i can taste the pure joy i'm going to experience. sure, there will be tough times. but there will always be. i've always gotten through everything i've been handed. and i'm sooo happy. i don't really have all that many reasons to be happy (I'm living, aren't I?) but, I just feel that happiness that comes from God. He can transform your life. Through Him, I have so much hope to live. So much hope to truly feel. It's the weirdest feeling, emotionally and physically. To have complete contentment. I've reached that today, I believe. My breaths feel lighter, and my thoughts feel more passive.

Thank you God, for answering my prayers and continuing to do things in my life!!!

I feel as though everything may be getting better.

love. ♥

YouTube - Pants on the Ground (and LYRICS!) - American Idol Season 9 - Atlanta

YouTube - Pants on the Ground (and LYRICS!) - American Idol Season 9 - Atlanta: "Pants on"

let the river of life flow within you

the beach relaxes me, and i hope to live near/on one one day. i hope to live an exciting life. do things people normally don't do.

i guess today was a pretty normal day. good things, and not-so-good things.

i'm expecting tomorrow to be a good day for some reason.

i've been captivated by the stars lately. they are so amazing. i can't really see any right now, but i didn't look too well. i wish it was summer again, when i could lay on my roof, look at the stars, and not have to be freezing cold. plus, it's just so worry-free that time of year. so many more opportunities.

i truly look up to people who have big dreams. it's cool.

"be lucid in all your actions." i think that's something we could all incorporate into our lives. lucid means clear and easily understood. so we should be intelligible, rational, and a bit plain in what we do, and how speak.

be the person you want to be remembered as.

love. ♥

i see you, i feel you

i'm listening to piano music. this kind gives me a weird, sad feeling almost.

maybe we're all here to be more than just a person. when you see the person walking down the street, we are quick to judge. they have a whole life story. they have thoughts just like you. they could be having the worst day they've ever had. or the best one. we don't know. the truth is, no matter who we think they are, we shouldn't be so quick to judge. because 99% of the time, we're completely wrong.

also, i think when people are mean or rude to us, it's usually not about you. it's about themselves. which is why i believe we should be totally nice back to them. not only will we infect them with kindness, but it will retaliate back to ourselves.

i'm not one to preach about this, because i judge people (like everyone). i really try not to. but of course, i have opinions on it. and if you're an avid reader of my blog, you know i like to give out my opinions. especially about valuable things that have helped me.

i'm listening to this amazing, amazing song.

one last wish by james homer.

no matter what kind of music you like, i'm sure you can enjoy this. it has no words. which makes it unique. it's not drab though. at all.

interesting.

people can be very cruel on this earth. i do believe all people have beauty in them, and most people on our earth are good people. but it seems like so many people lately are focused on being rude. i don't like when people ignore me. it's so annoying. or when they do things on purpose to make me mad. ugh. i wish i could strip the annoying behaviors from people, and make them who i want them to be. i guess that's a weakness of mine. because i can't change people. i need to accept that. accept them for who they are. but when they hurt me on purpose, i am done trying. i just want people to be there for me. and care about how they make me feel.

i want to see titanic again. how i love that movie. best ever.

tiredness is sweeping over me. so i'll try to get things done.

i once was lost, but now i'm found

i'm here to smile. though i can't promise tears will never exist.

deep down i'm happy, but right now i feel a sudden sadness. trying to deal with it gets hard.

i get into these moods sometimes.

why do you want to be in my life? prove to me i'm worth it. prove to me you're capable of loving me, and that you're worth my love. i have a lot to give away. i don't like to waste time on people who will hurt me. intentionally. i like people who are here to help me when i fall. because i will always be exactly that person.

i don't really know what i'm saying today, words just come out.

it's becoming clear to me how much some things really are changing. and how i'm trying to find all these ways to adapt. i can't change my past, so i don't worry about it. i can't control my future 100%, so i try to take life as it comes. i try not to look at things as "bad" or "good" but just neutral. i have had issues, but i don't see them as bad things. nor good things. i just see them. and appreciate them. does that make any sort of sense?

i'm not the type to judge you. i'm here to listen. i'm not the type to leave you when you need me the most. those people are duchers. don't do that to me. ever.

i'm lost without god. i can't imagine my life without him. honestly, it would be SO much different. i don't even want to think about where my life would be. i can say i don't think it would be going in a positive direction. but thankfully, i have him. ♥

currently listening to: amazing because it is by the almost

you caught me in your hands, like that bug in the summer night. so go ahead and scream, because you know you need to. you captured me so gently, but let me go to be free. you knew exactly why i lit up. and it was because as i flew around your hair that the wind caught so well, i saw the smile on your face. i saw how even in the dark you lit up the sky.

i wrote that in a minute or so. i don't know where it's really coming from. i know it's not great. not even close. but it gives me this amazing feeling. i can't explain it. maybe i'm different. so what? maybe i have more to offer than you "normal" people. notice the quotations. because normal doesn't exactly exist.

when it all comes down, the sunrise on the east side. will you be there to carry on? my wasted youth, this wasted time on you has left me shaken, wanting something more.

be my eternal light.