So...,this is my life.

Yes.

And I'm still trying to figure out just where I fit into, and who I'm going to be.

Let's enjoy this moment, for it will never pass again.

I just need to know that someone in the world cares about me in general, and will love me through everything. I need to know these people exist.

Sometimes people tell me things will be okay, and I forget to hear them, let alone believe them.

People accept being unhappy, and going nowhere...how can they do that? When we have so much potential just waiting to escape from us.
Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine myself somewhere that doesn't exist. Then I think, maybe I don't even exist. It's all too much. And when I look into the mirror, it all doesn't seem like reality. I'm not even sure if I know what reality is, or if it's real at all. The irony in this...is almost impeccable.

We have the ability to feel INFINITE.
We have the power.
All we need is the drive and the faith.

Sometimes life is too simple for people to understand, and we mistake it for complex.
A concept we are unable to understand. Look at the big picture and you'll realize how small all this is.

closing my eyes.

Well well well,
Here I am again.
Everything is so beautiful...

Who I really am:
I am a complex person. You will never figure me out completely. I have way too many opinions and views on things that will never really matter. I am complicated, and care about more things than what clothes look best on my figure. I am original, I don't change myself for the acceptance of others. This is me. I'm not the same as most.
I promise, I'll be the best friend you have if you let me be. I'll show you all the love in the world if you show me the smallest amount. I truly care about people I get to know. If you don't consider my feelings, I won't take it lightly. I hold people I love up to a high standard.
I can be sooo crazy, and loud, and obnoxious. It's not something I'm proud of. But it's me. Other times, I'm super shy and quiet. Most of the time, not so much.
I do try to listen more than I speak. [Doesn't always happen,...haha.]


I am finishing up my "quote wall" in my bedroom. I cut papers out and wrote different sayings and motivational quotes and hung them up. I added photography too, and it all is there to simply inspire me. Enlightenment.

My thoughts wander endlessly.

Here's a song I just wrote on the spot, and it means a lot to me. Hope you like it.

CLOSING MY EYES
Now I'm closing my eyes
And I,
I'm watching this time fly by
I think of you,
and now, I'm closing my eyes
Just watching myself cry
When I dream, I still return to you
And I,
I'm watching you cry
My heart is not the first to be broken
Your mind is not the first to go unspoken
Just before these times
I'm closing my eyes

Chorus:
You, with your hand around that trigger
I have the same fears as you
But your, your problems are so much bigger
You, with your hands covered in lies
Still, we never got to say our goodbyes
You, with your demons fighting against you
I wish it wasn't this way because,
You'll always be the person I never knew

Right now I'm closing my eyes
And I,
I'm watching your life fly by
Yeah, she's closing her eyes
You'll always be, always be,
someone in a disguise.
These dreams, they still return to you
And I,
I'm watching you die.
My heart is not the first to be broken
Your mind is not the first to go unspoken
I'm still not alive,
so I'm closing my eyes

Chorus

I don't know my reality,
Without you, I don't know who to be.
These moments, will never be sensationalized.
so I'm closing my eyes.

I can feel the world at my fingertips.

Just like that bird with broken wings,

He whistles so quietly but longs to sing.

A broken guitar with a need to be played,

The person who once strummed it but didn't stay.

We recognize these things that once made us laugh,

Like counting the notes on a music staff.

And then we remember those things that once made us cry,

We learn to accept the flaws and swallow them with pride.

People become able to handle disappointment as it follows us with ease,

But never will we adapt to the time we have left to believe.

As these leaves fall down as they do just like our memories,

The time becomes shortened, we abandon this forest of trees.

It's weird to me that I can write so aimlessly, without a point to a poem... but these things make all the sense in the world to me.

I'm learning more everyday. I have quotes all over my room, inspirational pictures, motivational sentences. It helps me. I love knowing what life is TRULY about. I guess I'll never have all of the answers, will I? But I'm going to know enough to have a happy life. And I love that. I guess I love not knowing what life will bring for me, but laughter and happiness. Struggles, sure...they will pass. I don't focus on that. I'm not blinded, though, I just choose to focus on the good. I still see the negative, but I'm not going to dwell on it.

“love builds up the broken wall

and straigtens the crooked path.

love keeps the stars in the firmament

and imposes rhythm on te ocean tides

each of us is created of it

and i suspect

each of us was created for it”

-Anonymous

lovelovelove.