everything just seems to hold beauty.

--> yes. it's true.

this picture is sort of random, but i like it. i see beauty in things that is hard to see, or different than what some see i guess.

Having love like this would be amazing.

i called a couple of piercing places a little bit ago, and they didn't answer. i want to get my nose pierced so badly.

i've been thinking about life in general a lot lately. i'm mesmerized by it. and death. it's such a strange concept to grasp. i'm not afraid of dying. i'm afraid of having my loved ones gone a little bit though. not horribly. i try not to think about it too much. my mind kind of blocks that thought. i know i will see all of my family and friends someday, we will all be reunited after this lifetime.

i'm kind of confused by my emotions, because i can't really tell how i'm feeling and it is frustrating me. perhaps i'm feeling too many emotions at once. maybe.

currently listening to: fuzzy blue lights -owl city

this song is exactly how i'm feeling right now, and it's a cool feeling to be recognized in some sort of way.

i want the snow to melt, so i can see the grass again. and i just want it to rain. rain for as long as it can. and feel the warm air. i'm excited for spring.

"everywhere i look, i see green

all those oceanic vistas are so divine."

things that make me happy:

-quotes

-pictures

-shopping

-hearing a loved one laugh as hard as they can (it's contagious)

-art galleries

-stars

-piano music

i'm kind of a freak in a lot of ways. well, i'm different than a lot of people. but i like who i am.

i meditated last night. it's amazing because you never feel so relaxed. your body has zero tension, you almost feel as if you're floating. it's serenity that i love. and sometimes, you feel closely connected with god. this might sound weird to those who have never felt like this. but it's a feeling of being infinite.

sometimes i like to cry. one of those feelings you get out of nowhere. where you're just thinking about all of the good and bad things, everything in between, life moments, and everything just seems to hold beauty. it's not like i had a reason to cry last night, it just came out. i was holding onto memories, and it just felt right.

i'm not a huge emotional person, but sometimes i feel like i have no reason to feel the way i am. after i cried, i felt so much better.

i remember when i was like 10, i couldn't wait to be a teenager. now, it's here. and it feels so much different. i'm tired of being 16. 4 more months approximately. sometimes i feel so much older. and sometimes i feel like i should still be 12. time is a weird thing. though it's really nothing, if we're getting into deeper thoughts here.

this post is long, and a bunch of random thoughts. i'm sorry if you don't understand half the things i write. i probably wouldn't if i weren't this person. i have passive thoughts, and i think deeply about everything. i'm not the best at describing things either, although i don't think i'm terrible at it.

i'm listening to piano music. nothing like this relaxes me. i can listen to a song i really like over and over and over again.

i miss people. alone time is over for me. i need it sometimes. i miss talking to certain people. i miss spending time with people i haven't seen. i miss their company and their laughs. how i miss iit.

i really love the ocean. the sand, the waves. the coral and fish. i'm actually kind of afraid of fish. i need to get over that because i plan on going scubadiving someday...

Tomorrow is the last day of christmas break. eh. i feels so unprepared, like i need a couple more days to get ready for what i know is coming. i have to think about it in a good way. i feel so different, like i've grown a lot. and actually, grown up a lot. so school should be better. though, it's never been bad at all. content. i miss people.

doo da doo, life is good:)

remember to live your life with love, meaning, and purpose. everyone has some sort of "calling" or reason they are put on this earth. i don't know what mine is, but i wish i could find out somehow. god is here to listen, to help, to heal. i wish everyone on this earth knew that.

infinite.

i like the word "infinite" so much because i like its meaning. its a feeling you get. and its a good one. i like that they use the word so amazingly in a beautiful book (that i happen to want). here's a couple more:

it's really late. i can't sleep, though i'm so tired that i can barely keep my eyes open. my mind wanders endlessly...
i need to lay some thoughts to rest.
i kind of have this new mindset. whenever I'm feeling down i tell myself "doo da doo. life's good."
sounds funny. it keeps your spirits up. i have a hard time doing that sometimes, but it's something i believe in doing. a positive outlook is the key to happiness. along with other things. but this is essential.

i've always wanted to have one of those old vintage bikes. the cool pastel colors. i don't know why. i miss riding my bike. i used to all the time. now, it's way too cold and snowy. but i miss that. and i'd feel way cooler having one of those vintage bikes:)

someone i care about is disappointing me. i feel as though we are going opposite ways. and like they are not putting forth the effort that i am. i'm not trying anymore. i can't do it. i know that out of every relationship i will have, there will always be people who disappoint me. that sounds so pessimistic, but it's true. everyone does let you down eventually. well, most. i'm still searching for somebody who won't.

my point exactly ^



i'm trying to be the kind of person who listens more than i speak.





2010 is going to be different for me, i can assure you.

ready for some randomness?
i love old people. i don't know why. i like the thought of a whole life story that they have. and i have so much curiousity about how much they have had to have gone through throughout their years. interesting, huh?

i am different:

-i don't change myself for anyone

-if i love you i will care about you with everything in me

-i go by inspiration and creativity

-god is my world and has gotten me so far

-i want to travel, live a simplistic life

-i listen to something other than rap

-i'm myself at all times

-i read

-i actually care about peoples feelings and don't fool around with emotions

-drama and gossip stops at me, i don't play the games

GOODNIGHT! LOVELOVELOVE.

i miss summer. a lot.

twenty.ten.

Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?

Currently listening to: All of my love, Led Zepplin

I'm not jaded. I'm learning what life holds for me as days go by. What's strange is that we will never really know what things hold for us, or reasons for everything. That means life is incomplete always; at some point we will realize we don't have all of the answers, and we never will.

That's what makes life. It makes so much sense that it's hard to comprehend. It's almost too much.

Does what I'm saying make any sort of sense at all?

Or is it too simple? Or too complex?

I think my thoughts are really only meant for me to understand. Perhaps...?

-Last night was fun. I stayed up late. Around 6:30. X-/ Like that face? Aha. I'm pretty tired. I stayed up making dance videos. So typical. Haha.

-Happy New Year!!:)

This post is short. & pretty pointless. I needed to clear my thoughts.

lovelovelove.

Like led zepplin said, all of my love to you. <3

since when do i like led zepplin you ask? i really don't. this one song is amazing though.

I live to let you shine.

Keep me here, I believe.

If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky
You can hide underneath me and come out at night
When I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine

let's go here, where the beaches are wide, and like another galaxy.

let's find a rock to settle on, and watch the stars become more prominent.

let's skyrocket away from here.

i'm going out to dinner, and then to my friend's house. for a happy new years:)

i've been listening to music for 4 hours straight. just thinking. and listening.

i can tell things are changing for me.

i have to believe that each day is going to be better than the last.

i have to believe good things will come.

everything falls into place eventually.

-i will be okay.

facing the truth...?

Currently listening to: New Slang by The Shins

Like indie music? I like indie music. Chill. Sort of a vintage feel.

I wish you could see this in full size.
I'm sorry.
Because it's full of inspiration.
I made this with photography that I love, just a collage of the stuff I like a lot!






I have a new "about me" section. Read :)

I love vintage photography.

everyone is running from something.

I am completely unaware of a lot of things,

let me just say that.

Well, I've been listening to acoustic/indie music and I feel so odd after I do. I don't know, it gives me this weird feeling on top of how I'm feeling now. Hmm.

I realized I need explanations for everything. I don't want to simply hear what you're saying, I want to know WHY you're saying it. The feelings behind it; the reasoning.

-I want to be the brightest firefly in your jar.

Is this true? I think everyone has something they're running from or trying to escape from. Some sort of fear. I guess I have things I'm running from as well. Well, I believe sometimes we shouldn't run away from the things we are afraid of, but face them, because sometimes the things we are most afraid of are the things we need most in our lives.

I believe that.

--> I have a lot of pictures, and this one is probably my favorite. I love it so much. <--

I HATE being ignored, and that is how I'm feeling. I'm having one of those "depressed" days. Ahh, let's not go that far. I'm just not having the best emotional day. I have reasons though. I always do. People are disappointing me, and letting me down. I need people so much at times, and it seems like that's when they leave, when I need them the most.

All you have to do to be significant to me is love me, make me laugh, show me you care, and be here for me.

Is there more people out there who hold these qualities? I need to know these sort of people exist out there. I need to know I'm not absent of this. And I'm not.

I feel like I'm writing a novel of a blog right now.

Well, I have to say...I had a few views on my blog lately and it makes Corbin pretty happy :) I just feel like I have a lot to say, and I like being able to write my thoughts. I'm not coy about people knowing what I'm thinking.

Ohh... just FYI, the comments on my posts do not show up, so if you would like to leave a comment, that would be great, but they don't go on my blog publicly.

I wish I was there ^

lovelovelove.

what you may not know...

I'm not you.

You're not me.

And sense I'm pointing out the obvious, let me just say: I love this.

-i'm a complete nerd.
-i like to learn new things;

i wish i was super smart.
-i love music;

the kind that reminds me of things i love.
-i love acoustic songs
-rainy days are so uplifting
-i love God;

because He always helps me through things

-i watch national geographic;
-i like to read
-i like philosophy & psychology;

a lot
-i like to be alone a lot, but i'm not lonely

-i'm scared of losing people
-nature completely amazes & captures me
-i get upset about the smallest things that hurt me;

and i wish i didn't.

-sometimes i think i care too much

-i am shy;

although i can be very loud
-i'm way to indecisive to have a favorite color;

the colors i love are rare ones.

-i really don't know who i am;

but i know what i want out of life.

-ask me to help you and i will be right there.

-i'm changing a lot lately;

and i love it.

because i like myself, but i feel it's natural change;

that i can get used to.

simplicity captures me.

I love the scenery of a dark night with bright lights. I love the sound of a piano, playing a song that reminds me of a summer night. Laying restlessly, upon a lake. Sounds so cliche`, huh?
No. Not for me.
Everything I do, it never seems just right. This artificial world, watches us endlessly. And still, we continue to breathe, and feel the sensations of something real. Life is more than a struggle. There's something more, I just know it.
You know that feeling, where you KNOW 100%...that something you're feeling is right...and you can never explain it in words? Language truly fails in some cases.

I love the ocean. I love rain. I love simple smells. I love warm and cold on my tongue. I love the sun on my skin. I love the feeling of leaves simple structures.
I love how I can feel God's presence sometimes.

Time will never be what my clock says. It goes way too fast when all you want is a moment to treasure. And way to slow when you're waiting so desperately.

I got a book today, it's called "The Lovely Bones". It was made into a movie which is coming out soon. I would like to see it, but first, I want to read the book. I have another book to read, which I'm halfway done with. I don't understand how someone couldn't get lost in a book. It's so charming; its simplicity captures me. All of the simple things in life capture me, and hold a place in my heart.

Let's get lost.

Sometimes things are far too confusing. Although, captivating.

don't forget me.

I miss my past; and the people in it. I'm moving forward, and the memories are being left behind...

More memories are being made.

And that alone, takes my breath away.

Overall, I'm happy. And boy, am I hapy to say that! 2009, I will be missing you. This year, I have learned SO much. And grew up a lot. Almost 17 years have gone by in this life, and all I have is gratitude. I have met so many amazing people. I have lost people, too.

My new years resolutions:

-Take road test to get license if not already done

-Volunteer

-Look for a job

-Meet new people

I get lost in music all the time. It makes me feel...infinite.

I'm listening to Making April right now, and amazing band that makes me feel like I'm flying.

Here's some of the lyrics that I can relate to totally.

I've been told to remember
Keep your lemur eyes wide
Someday you'll make a life of this
So carry on, carry on
But i've become so offenseless
Despite these weapons i bear
Have we toned up our finest
Or did we take this

Too Far down
The road you know i'm scared to go down
I'm waking up anxious to lay back down
'Cause all i can do here is wait
Just wait, i'll hurry up and wait

Well i can't read her expression
'Cause man this vixen she's sly
As she keeps me suspended
I've lost all control of this flight
Hiiii yeaaahhh yeaaahhh
We've ravaged our chances to shine
Would you take what i'm giving to you or did i take this
Did we take this

Too far down
The road you know i'm scared to go down
I'm waking up anxious to lay back down
'Cause all i can do here is wait, just you wait
[Hurry Up And Wait Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com]

So have it your way
I know you'll be watching with gallant eyes
As we shake the wreckage
And break from these hauntingly silent niiiiiights
Break from these silent nights
Will this take forever?
We might have a shot if we'd stray
But what's another day

Of hurry up and wait
Hurry up and wait
Hurry up and waaaaait
It's all that you can do now

Ah. Love <3