i can't tell you what it is; i can only tell you what if feels like,

I don't want to have to fight to keep myself alive.

I don't want to wait for someone to save me.

dear someone,

you are the reason for my tangled emotions.

i'll never understand the complexity of who you are and the motives behind what you do to me.

that's not the saddest part.

the saddest part is, having to go along with it and avoid the reality of things.

in some way, there has to be a way out.

maybe i'll find it some day. and maybe i'll never completely know.

i'll just keep changing as you chizzle me away, molding me into you. i'll never be able to face myself.

you've avoided my heart for far too long. another thing left unsaid, another moment torn down. you know, that moment you lost could have been something that changed us for the better.

i hope you regret this someday, and have sleepless nights wishing you would feel different.

and that you see exactly what i see now.

i've thought i was crazy for far too long, but i'm old enough, and just wise enough, to see the turth in all of this.

i hope you know,

                         .... i love you.

sincerely,

corbin

i've found the unexpected, seemingly inconsequential things to mean the most. i used to give my full self in the hope of someone catching a small glimpse of who i really am,

but now, i'm doing things I've come to the conclusion that everything has an explanation, but not everyone is willing to search for that answer. And not everyone is capable of seeing it..

i may be nonexistent to you, but someday. i promise, you'll mean everything to me.

i've reached a point in my life where i'm starting to see things in a way that lets me get past the negativity. and i'm very thankful for that. life is difficult, and i'm hoping it gets easier along the way. or I get stronger, either way... i hope things change in a way that can bring me some sort of happiness.

Don't you think it's significant, the impact that people have on our lives? It's an impact that can last forever. The smallest things that seem to mean nothing at the time could make a world of difference.  I love that.

Even though sometimes it's sad, sometimes it's hard to come by, I love those moments.

Sometimes we don't think anything will come of the smallest situation, but we never really know. The biggest and best change in our lives can come from the tiniest choice we make. The truth is, we never know which decision to make because we can't predict the future. The best we can do is trust our hearts to guide us through life, and God to take us through the path with the best outcome.

And I hope everything that I do leads me in the way that will bring me myself.

Does that make sense?

I've come to the conclusion that everything has an explanation, but not everyone is willing to search for that answer. And not everyone is capable of seeing it.

I don't like seeing people begging other people to stay in their lives, even if it's not literal. Why should we have to do that? I want people in my life who want me in their lives. If I'm not important to you, I don't want to waste my time caring more about you than I do about myself. And I tend to do that. I care too much, and sometimes...it leaves me vulnerable and unwilling to let go.

give me a reason to stay with you; just let me know, so i can run away faster than ever before.

counting down all the hours i've spent here drowning in all of your lies.

i wish that i could have been warned.

i'd love to take back every word i said.

i'm so sorry, dear, i must escape

before you suffocate me.

i hope this is all that you wanted.

love.