Believe in what you can achieve! Go for what you want! It's possible only in your eyes!

My dream...to travel the world.

The people who say it's not possible... choose to live in the shadows!

lessons learned.

I have learned lately...
1. people are mean and will stop at nothing to make you feel worse.
2. there ARE good people out there who will smile when you need it.
3. thoughts overrise true emotion.
4. actions speak louder than words.
5. you have to choose to change any/every aspect of your life.

and much more.

endless skies desperately waiting

Do whatever makes you happy.

After going through a lot lately, I'm ready to face the world with a new attitude. I'm focusing on my personal happiness.
I'm not going to hold myself back, and I'm not going to let anyone hold me back.

dreams are possible to reach.

And still, sometimes I get so confused... what to do with myself and who to be. Why I'm in certain situations.

It doesn't matter.

All that matters is me living my life to its fullest potential.

Riding away from all the madness around me.

It's almost that time again. Thanksgiving. I love this time of year. Having only two days of school this week makes my life easier.

One of my downfalls: I always feel like everyone has to like me. And if they don't, I find a way to make it seem like it's my fault, when reality is telling me that not everyone can like one person. I hate that.

I love you.

Who says I can't be free?

I'm listening to "who says" by John Mayer on repeat...there's something about it that relaxes me.
This is a part of it:
"Who says I can’t get stoned?
Turn off the lights and the telephone
Me and my house alone
Who says I can’t get stoned?
Who says I can’t be free?
From all of the things that I used to be
Re-write my history
Who says I can’t be free?
It’s been a long night in New York City
It’s been a long night in Baton Rouge
I don’t remember you looking any better
But then again I don’t remember you."

This kind of inspires me. Who says I can't wake up tomorrow and be a completely different person? Re-write this story called life. Do everything I want to. Be who I want to be.

I'm not the type of person who likes to alone often. I wish right now that I had someone to keep me company. Someone my age at least. But you know, maybe it's okay. Maybe I can take some time to think about things...

And again, I replay this song.

I am feeling isolated. Sometimes it's like, what am I doing wrong in life?
You know...?



I love people in general, but sometimes I can't stand being around the people I'm surrounded by. Maybe it's me, I don't know. I try seeing good in everyone, but sometimes it's so so deep down that it takes a special person to be able to see. I want to be that person, I do.

I'm not a serious person most of the time. I mean, I can be but I am usually laughing and joking. It just makes life better to me. It makes me smile :)

I don't know what I want. It's that simple.

everyday unfolding a new page..

-I haven't been able to say I trust more than a couple of people in too long.
People in my life lately have been very mean to me. Not everyone, but just in general. People making up things about me, just cruel attitudes and things like that. I'm not into being mean to others. I can be, though, if you hurt me. I'm trying to work on that. That is one of my downfalls. I need to take the road less traveled by.

Life. As we know it. Is falling down right before our eyes.
I find humor in almost every situation, which I think is a good thing--a form of optimism :)

You know, I really believe distances are just opportunities to get closer.

Time heals pain. For the most part. I've learned that... and even though people are fighting against me, they won't hold me down. I haven't come all this way just to be taken back to Day 1. You don't know how strong you are until you are told you're weak and your true strength is put to the test. I guess I do feel weak sometimes, and you know...maybe I am? I'm not quite sure. All I know is that God is fighting my battles one by one, and someday things will be better. You can't have a rainbow without a little rain.



Every aspect of human civilization deals with: realizations.disappointments.laughter.tears.
and every moment, no less significant.

Let's escape to FIJI! (:

"This is life. This is our lives. How you choose to live it is up to you. But remember...there's far less time than there is opportunities."

-Corbin

As the days go by, I believe everything's getting better. Well, most things. I knew God would guide me through the rain, only to have a rainbow at the end :)

You know what's weird? I'm kind of feeling like me and someone close to me are growing apart! It's so sad and I feel totally helpless. It's like I've been replaced in a way. And it's not the greatest feeling in the world. It's almost like I can't even compare! I don't know...I'm sure it will go away soon.

I'm the kind of girl who believes there's beauty in everyone. Truly, I've never met anyone who doesn't have good in them. I think that's why it's so hard for me to leave people behind. I see the good in them and don't want to let that go.

I also believe...

People change so you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

I feel like doing something EXTRAORDINARY. Nothing normal, nothing redundant. But something exciting and completely unexpected!

I love you.

language fails.

I feel like I haven't written anything on here in years. Ha. It's been like a week?

Lately, I don't even know how to describe anything at all. Language fails in some cases. Like for instance, in explaining the constant hurtful people in my life. I've gone through whirlwinds the past couple of weeks. People making up complete lies about me...I will never understand. Never.

I am sorry if I offend you, but I would really like new people in my life. I'm just sick of everything and everyone. I find myself being so frustrated with everything. And I hate that feeling. The feeling of complete loss of control.

Today, I wish I could have just climbed under a rock and forgot about a lot of things.

I miss myself. The energetic, silly person that I enjoyed. I can be her. I see her come out sometimes, but only glimpses. It seems stress is taking over my life.

I read "The Notebook" in 1.5 days. That shows how much of a Nicholas Sparks addict I am.
I could've read it in one.

People: don't be the person who doesn't consider my feelings at all. Don't be that person.

I love you.

hello again.

I feel attached to so many people; and you know...it might just feel good.


I wrote this freestyled kind of "poem", just thoughts mostly. I didn't do any editing or revising, changing words around to make sense, etc. It's just random thoughts and lines. They're important to me, though. Every single word makes me feel some sort of emotion.
Read it?

I wish on a shooting star with my arms crossed, and my eyes still wide.
I believe you'll unfold the note I wrote you, never crinkling it up inside.
All of my life, broken dreams destroyed and cracked at the seams.
My shattered image is staring back at me, and I hear the voice inside my head.
If only I had found a way to hide the steps I've taken.
Only we can know,
just where we're supposed to go.
I urge to remember the time, everything felt right.
Oh, selfish insecurities, breaking out of my mind.
These waves are just so strong, so much pressure pulling me down,
when all I want is to float on the surface of this cold ocean.
Seeing the docs that will welcome me with open arms.
The pensive arms swept over my face, sweet salty air, never missing one thing.
It gets harder to open my eyes.
The beginning is neccessary, and the end is hazy.
I still can't see past the fog that's lifting.
Precarious thoughts that fill my mind,
will you ever pull me out of this bind?
I'm starting to see there's hope for life even when there's not.

If this doesn't make sense, it's okay. I really don't expect it to paint a perfect picture. It's more for me.

Creativity is more important than wit. To me at least. Have a little bit of both.

I felt like endlessly walking last night, as tired as I was. I was past the point of sleeplessness. I was too tired to go to sleep, and too much was running through my mind to attempt to put them into dreams. I have to admit, Autumn is winning me over.

And then she said it, she thinks she might just be okay afterall.

I just interpreted some of my dreams...and I got a few things that disturbed me a little. First, the feeling of helplessness came up a lot. Incapability of making decisions. It also said I have a fear of abandonment. To end on a good note, I got the ability to express myself well.
Let me address these few things my dreams showed.
First, helplessness...yeah, I guess this is true. I feel unable to control a lot of things right now.
Incapability to make decisions...haha. Me all the way. I'm not good at making decisions; especially ones that could be life altering. And abandonment, I'm not that good at telling how my own mind is sometimes, but I do see signs of that.
I am a pretty good expressor of feelings though. I guess I am pretty understanding, and capable of showing how I'm feeling. I like to help people by analyzing their feelings. I'm SOOO not a psychologist, but I do give good advice, I must admit.

You know, all these things will not hold me back in any way, but accelerate me! Life is good, as bad as things may seem. And really, I am super excited.

Flu...that sucked over the weekend. Missing even one day of school always seems like you missed three years.

I'm excited to say, not only am I writing really random things today, but I'm getting a new phone tomorrow! It's much needed.

Let me just say this:
I am the girl who believes things happen for some sort of reason. I'm the girl who thinks that prayer is all someone needs sometimes. I'm also the girl who will love anyone who will give me a chance... please don't ruin that for me. I'm the girl who will joke about almost anything, but always I'll have a serious opinion on whatever it may be. I'm that girl who isn't afraid of what you may think. I'm my own person, I'm not scared to be different than you, and I don't hold back. I'm the girl who wants all to be happy, and to be surrounded with people who make me feel LOVED, HAPPY, AND THANKFUL!
All you others...bye bye. You will be great for someone else's life, but for mine...not so much.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Imagination is never exaggerated or overcompensated for. I've used this saying in my previous posts, and here I'll say it again...


Some things that will definitely be on my bucket-list: (more coming...)
-Skydiving
-Traveling the world
-Feeding 10,000 hungry stomachs
-Reading all of Nicholas Sparks novels
-Finding a way to tell Jonas Brothers fans...these boys are really not that great at all.

imagination...

One day at a time; that's what I'm trying to do. It gets so easy sometimes, life I mean. But it also gets sooo hard.

I was thinking last night, as I layed restlessly...thoughts that you only could think when you're real sleepy. Things that don't exist but are so easy to imagine. Lightning bugs danced around me, field weeds swayed back and forth; and for a moment, I wasn't in my bed. I was lying on a pond in the middle of a forest, with nothing but the cool breeze to disturb me.

If I could make myself believe anything, I'd make myself believe that magical places actually exist. However, I don't believe you can force yourself to believe anything. Don't you miss that sweet innocence of being a small child, with the world at your fingertips...with anything possible in your mind? Don't you miss that feeling of fairy tales?

We're reminded daily of the REALITY of our world, but we should stop and just DREAM.
A very wise person once said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge."

HOW EXACTLY LIFE GOES
I've been dying to leave this place,
with the small thin grin on my face.
We danced around our dreams,
Watched flowers grow from seeds.
These bombs somehow knew exactly when to go off,
And that's when we knew all the ways we lost.
From our fingertips, our lives will touch
your fingertips, and with your hand in mine,
our lives will know just when to clutch.
A simple raindrop falling from the sky,
A simple word that means goodbye.
From the grass that grows
and the wind that blows,
This is how we'll know
how exactly life goes.

i wrote this with inspiration in mind, for whoever/whatever has inspired me in this life, thank you, because of you...i'll never be the same.

things will be better soon!

How, oh how, could i be so many emotions at one time? i'm still learning who i am. Yes, i'm sure what i stand for and i know what i love. but i don't know the world yet. and i certainly don't know everything about myself.

[Second post today. Scroll down, read the one below for me.]

We often forget how truly beautiful humans are. Me? I believe everyone has good in them. Really, it's possible. Please remember to enjoy simply the treasures you have today.

Things you might not know about me:

-I sometimes do a double take when I see an old beaten down truck. It gives me a feeling of vulnerability. It shows character, and a story.

-I never see someone who I absolutely know I wouldn't like. I think it's okay to give everyone a chance. Even if not everyone is going to like me.

-I get insecure sometimes, like most.

-When something upsets me a lot, I obsess over fixing it, or finding a way to get through. (It gets annoying).

-I'm a little OCD.

-I'm not organized at all. Although I hate when things are messy, I can't stand it.

-I want to start an organization for people who have hardly anything...don't know all the details yet. But I do know I want to help people in any way I can.

-I sometimes find myself watching South Park and laughing so hard...then I remember...wow, I still can be happy when I'm sad.

-Photography makes a lot of things a lot better.

-I have learned more this year than I have my whole life.

-I only tell people about 60% of things, I am actually a private person.

-I love having deep conversations, where the subject actually matters.

-I still believe in that fairy tale ending.

-I hate seeing people go, when you know you won't see them for a while. Even when I meet strangers who I get to know; I hate having to know I'll never see them again. People mean a lot to me.

-I love Jesus, and I often pray for weird things, like "Jesus, will you help me find my shoes?" Okay, I shouldn't say that's weird. But let me just say, I lose a lot of things.

Lovely night. As much as I can say things aren't looking good right now...I can also say, things will be better soon...

blessings...

It's been too long since I've posted.

I despise saying this, essentially because I like to be optimistic, but I have been struggling a little bit lately. I don't even know. I wish I could explain in full detail. But just know, a lot has been going on... Starting with people who try to cause me pain, or at least don't seem to care that they are. Sometimes I honestly feel as though things won't get better. But then, I'm reminded they have to eventually. Things are always going to affect me in some way, maybe in ways I'll never ever comprehend. To you, reader, I want you to know... I love you.

This entry may be long, I have a lot to say...

I love inspiration.

I was extremely inspired by a man who was preaching on TV and I would love to share what I learned:

Don't let how someone has treated you or raised you affect your life.

GOD'S BLESSINGS ALWAYS OVERRISE THE CURSE.

When someone's pulling you down, shake it off--God is fighting your battles. Don't let it steal your joy.

When people try to harm you, God will cause it to backfire and you will be even better off than you were before.

WHEN GOD GIVES YOU A BLESSING IT CANNOT BE CURSED.

No matter how you were raised, your blessing will be fulfilled.

It won't slow you down, but accelerate you.

It doesn't matter if anyone tries to make you feel small, there's no need to be intimidated.

Nothing they can say or do will affect your blessing.

People will do anything to keep you down so they can outshine you. Leave it up to God and He will fight your battle for you. Your time is coming.

If you've had a lot of negative things come your way, don't let your HEREDITY affect your DESTINY.

You may have been in unfair situations but don't be worried. Healing is on it's way and THE BLESSINGS ALWAYS OVERRISE THE CURSES. YOU CANNOT CURSE WHAT'S ALREADY BEEN BLESSED.

_____________________________________________________________

stars, where are you? are you hiding beneath my breath? or are you so completely infinite that you can't bear to show your light?

-i'm not exactly sure where that came from ^

-i'm not even sure it makes sense.

-does it have to?

-only to me.

-and truthfully...

-nothing really makes sense to me anymore.

Struggles aren't forever. I wish I could convince myself this.

Some more rain today, which is making all the struggles seem all the more real and illiterate.

Some reasoning: God tests your faith in all the ways he can.
Question: Is he trying to make you feel pain?
Answer: No. Quite the opposite, actually.

I guess I've been going through a lot lately. Will I make it through? Absolutely. Will it be a bit difficult? Of course.
I'm so tired of having to deal with hatred and people who try to hurt me and the people I love. Sometimes I wish I knew why I was in certain situations.
I say to people all the time, eliminate all the negative people from your life.
Sometimes, I'm sorry to say, I'm too helpless to be able to do this.

I frequently forget that I'm still a child and shouldn't have to deal with everything at once. I sometimes don't remember that I can't fix a lot of things on my own. I need some tools, and a carpenter from time to time to help me. Jesus, are your carpentry skills still okay?

Please. Don't. Let anyone tell you you aren't beautiful. Truth be told: you are. Inside & out.
Please. Remember. God made you just how you are.
It may seem that the ocean waves are taking you under, and you may feel it's hard to breathe. Don't worry. God won't let you drown. Sometimes you have to feel pain to truly understand what joy is. I believe that so much. Whole-heartedly.

Ignorant people will eventually be destroyed. Not in some weird war way. Not literally. You understand what I mean, right? :)

I want things to stop hurting, and for it all to go away. Everything was going SO well, and now... it feels like the wall I worked on so hard is now falling down.

It was nice last night to just cry and not hold back...for someone to tell me what I DIDN'T want to hear and to tell me it would all be okay. And that they would be here for me no matter what.

Why does something amazing happen after every bad situation?
I'll let you figure that out ;)

leaves falling.

We all have different perspectives. Obviously. But seriously, we have to remember this. It's something that's so cliche but so easy to forget.
Also, why is it so easy to remember the bad things, yet so hard to remember the good? It's like something imprinted in our minds.

I've found answers to many problems I've been contemplating about lately. I can't believe it's all starting to make sense again, and slowly fall back into place. You know, like when the wind picks a leaf off their tree, causing it to slowly spiral down and then finally hit the ground?

It's like life.

Sometimes problems pick you up from your comfort zone, and send you on a whirlwind. But eventually, you will hit the ground, and know exactly why things happen.

That's a good analogy.

I like metaphors for life. Sometimes, ironically, they make so much more sense.

I love the fact that I have choices. If you haven't read my "choices" post, that probably doesn't make much sense. PLEASE read it! It's very important to me.

Have you noticed I now have a search bar? On the right hand side, close to the top. You can search any words that may be in my blog somewhere, or subjects I've written about. If you don't use it, fine. I don't really have a need for it. It's just a cool little gliche I thought I'd add. Ha.

Let's have a deep conversation. :)

god knows.

"Well if you ever need to get a hold of me for anything, if you are ever having a bad day either you can call me or you can message me."

Somehow this made me cry, and it's just what I needed to hear today.

the world is yours.

These broken walls fall down tonight,
For all the times we put up a fight.
These times are disappearing,
To a place of healing.
Everything we've ever stood for,
Drifts away like rubbish on the shore.
The love that vanished,
That lifts the fog from the mist.
The love that would slowly wane,
Possibly even take out pain.
But in the end,
it's no different than the flames,
I guess you could say,
Love is always the same.

So we meet again, dear reader.

If you know me well enough, know that I don't LOVE when people close to me hurt me. I HATE it. Don't confuse me with someone who will forget the pain you've caused me.

Right now, I CAN'T say I'm someone who can ignore your scrutiny. If you were someone I didn't love I would ignore it. Since you're so close to me, and you could do such things...this makes me so unbelievably ill.

I am trying to get through the fact that everyone eventually hurts you. I just wish some didn't do it intentionally. I feel this heavy weight on my chest that only time can heal. I'm asking you to pray about this entry, about me, and figuring things out involving this. And also, that these people I care about stop trying to hurt me.

If you did, thank you, it proves more than I'll ever be able to say.

I need to think. To evaluate some things.

lovelovelove.

the world is yours.

Choices

Hey, read my posts below...they're new! :)

I really feel like I have to say this:

You can have a wonderful life IF YOU CHOOSE TO. You can choose blessings or you can choose curses. By having a good perspective (through God) even through the worst situations will be turned into GOOD!
Today choose to be happy. Choose to be blessed. Choose not to have drama. Choose to be pain-free.

And I belive you will.

There isn't a tomorrow.

"When you forget who you are, you don't remember what's important."
-Corbin


Hello :)

I took a quiz, and my result said "you're a true dreamer at heart."
That's true.

Time is going by so much faster than I ever imagined, yet every moment seems to drag on. I'm wondering when things are going to get better. It's like a rollercoaster. I'm wondering why I kept this all bottled up inside of me... I believe in forever, so I'm holding on with both hands but sometimes my fingers start to slip. I need one person to grab my hand.

There isn't a tomorrow.
Remember that for me, and please, remind me every so often.

"You're never going to be alone,
from this moment on."
-Nickelback

I saw the book I've been wanting at target. "The Last Song" by, you guessed it, Nicholas Sparks. <3

Sometimes I wonder why God has put me in certain situations, but I know this all is happening for a reason. I really do love my life. I have struggles just like you though. Don't forget that.
Never say you miss being happy. Say, I used to be more happy than I am now, so how can I get more happy?
I've learned that.

I had one of those days where people's opinions mean nothing. Okay so I guess I'm usually like that. But today, I just felt as if nothing anyone could say would hurt me. It's wonderful.

People who hurt others on purpose are overrated. Don't be that person. Don't be the victim.

CONTROL YOUR DESTINY.

Live faster, live stronger.

I see myself changing before my eyes. I guess you probably won't see the changes I've made recently. It's not visible change. I can't tell if it's for the better or for the worse. I guess only time will tell.

Live faster, live stronger.
I love to live. I love to breathe, to laugh. I can't imagine my life without the people I've come to know.
I've been through things that I've never mentioned to anyone, and I always seem to get through. This happens with God and my family and select friends. If you have God in your life and have faith he'll help you get through anything, YOU WILL! I'm living proof :)
I look up to people who smile through pain.
I don't have any huge problems in my life, but I always try to smile along the way, whenever there's bumps along my way (there always will be).

Advice: avoid disaster at all costs.

bring out the best in yourself.

happy autumn.



I want to tell you, you're beautiful just how you are. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Hello my love.

I'm sitting here listening to some music and the rain hitting the roof. The music is quiet enough for me to hear each raindrop hit the window.

Hmm...

Someday I think I'll make a good person. Conceited? I think not.

I think I'm a good person now, but I'm still on the journey towards getting to my destination. I make mistakes daily, as do you.

I'm satisfied with myself, yet I still strive to be someone better. You can always do better. Just as long as you can accept who you are; that's what counts.

I've been waiting to get a letter in the mail. An "old" friend. When I say old friend, I think of someone you know from 20 years ago. I know her from about 5 or so years ago, and we live so far apart. We used to write so much, and we just started again. I love getting letters. It means someone's thinking about you :)

She's such a good friend. I'm so thankful for her.

Now on the topic of friends, I am also thankful for my best friend. She accepts everything I do and say without judging me.


Life's about choosing friends who bring out the best in you.


I CHALLENGE you to do as many of these things you can today:

1.) Laugh as hard as you can about the smallest thing that makes you smile.

2.) Take 3 deep breaths as you think about just nothing.

3.) Call an old friend.

4.) Tell them you love them ^

5.) Hug someone you haven't in a while.

6.) Say "thank you so much"

7.) Do something you've been saying you'd do.

8.) Let your friends/family have their space

9.) Cry happy tears or something you've been holding onto.

10.) Try to do the right thing even if it comes out wrong.

It's amazing how truly magnificent your life can be. It's all up to you.

You can say your health, your family, your values, your money, your location, etc., is holding you back. But no, YOU ARE.

Don't wait.

lovelovelove

-C <3>

Time to time.

I haven't wrote on here in awhile. Just like I said I wouldn't. I've been a bit busy.

Today was weird. Weird things kept happening to me, and it was just not a "normal" day.
I got home, did a little texting and homework, went to jimmy john's and then to a football game. Came home late.
Sounds normal, right?
It just felt so weird. Something in my head keeps bringing me down and I don't know why. I'm usually so different. It feels as if insecurities are coming up wherever I look. How do they know how to find me so easily?

I try so desperately to remove all negative people from my life. It's easier said then done. It's one of those things you talk about but can never seem to accomplish. I call people who do exactly what I do stupid. I'm so hypocritical sometimes. Ahhh.

I feel like my mind is swarming with thoughts that I really just can't handle at the moment. Any other day I'd be ready to face the world.
Maybe I need some time to think about everything. I promised myself I wouldn't let my life go in this direction. Everything was fine, it used to be. I have to find a way to stop this.

I'm still looking for someone who knows everything about me. Even just someone who knows me really well. See, people think they do. But I'm a deep well. There's more to me than meets the eye. And if I'm being completely honest, I'm not like everyone else. I am okay with that. Really. I am.

I need one person. One person to say something to me. What that something is...? I'm not mentioning it. Because if I do, they'll say it to me without meaning it. I'm tired of meaningless conversations and promises. I want someone to tell me the opposite of what I want to hear. Tell me the truth. And tell me it's all going to be okay. Do you exist out there?
If you do, a hug would be nice. A few words of advice, dandy.
I'm usually the one giving all the advice.
Could use some from time to time.

I really want to write a message/poem. My mind is honestly so tired right now. I can't think. So I won't. I'm going to sleep.

lovelovelove <3

To my father.

I would really appreciate if you read my post below, which I wrote today! And any others you haven't yet read? Thank you! :)

I want to dedicate a small section to my father who passed away in March of 2002. It was his birthday two days ago.
There really was no one else even close to like him. He had the best sense of humor anyone could. He was really talented with music and art. He was the best writer.
I miss mostly being with him in general and hugging him and going places with him and just learning more about him everytime I saw him.
Even though my mom and him were divorced, I know they were still each other's first love, and never did they stop loving each other.

Dad, I wish things would have been different and even though things turned out tragicly, I know somewhere you're happy.

Things learned & such.

I told you I wouldn't get lost in the crowd.
I'm hoping I will never have to break that promise.



Someone told me today, "No one will ever understand you, Corbin."
Hmm...
Maybe that's the truth. But I don't think anyone will every completely understand anyone else. Even themselves.
Maybe you won't ever even know who I am at all. That's okay. I choose to open up at full to few people. Maybe you will never get the chance to hear what I really have to say. That's okay too. I know who I am, and really, if you choose to not see through my mistakes...well, who's at fault here? Who's looking ignorant now?
Anyway, I don't blame them for telling me that. It's the complete truth. I'm a complex person. To be honest, I'll never understand you either. But I'm willing to find out more about you.


I currently want: Book, "Nights in Rodanthe" by Nicholas Sparks.
He's so amazing <3

I have learned recently... (this is going to be a reaccuring section on every one of my blogs.)
Sometimes the people who are closest to you feel the worst about you. Sometimes the people you think you know, know the least about you.
I found out who I can trust lately. Family member(s) too. Which in my opinion, is worse than finding out you can't trust your friends. Family should be there for you all the more, ya know?

Life is short. Too short sometimes, too long it seems at times. But overall, this life is perfect timing to do with everything.

I'm promising you right now I'm putting some of my photography on here soon. I will get to it. Ah, maybe if I keep saying that I'll actually believe it.
I'm so ammature. Like, most of the pictures I take are taken with my cell phone. No editing, no special lighting. I guess you just have to try to see the art in them.
Cuz I truly believe there's art in everything.

Something else I've discovered... I'm so non-judgemental. That's actually a good quality I see in myself. I will help anyone, I don't care if I don't agree with who you are. I'll still be a friend to you, offer advice even though I'm by far not an expert at any problem.

I've written a lot today. I guess there's a lot on my mind, and I have a lot to say.

I've never said this, even to myself. I avoid it at all costs. But...I'm not super strong. I can't avoid all negative feelings. Things do eventually affect me. Truth be told: I'm a strong person. I am. But I'm not a complete stone. No. Not yet.


I seemed to lose control of the bitterness you left
And now I can't even think,
Because everthing's a mess.
It all came crashing down on me,
like the wave pulling you under.
I can't even begin to see,
Past this storming thunder.

I wrote that in about 20 seconds. I'm basically being completely literal too.

I hope you all have a wonderful week. Perhaps you should wish me the same. Because this week should be, to say the least, "interesting".

lovelovelove
-C

Stuff.

I've actually posted a couple times today, and it makes me pretty happy.
Scroll down & read the one's you haven't for me! :)
I probably won't post again for a few days, so I'll make up for some lost time today. haha.

I seriously love punk and acoustic bands. It's just another thing that makes me feel alive. The bands that many people don't know about, those usually are the ones that are best.

Currently listening to: Break by Three Days Grace.

I don't like how I'm feeling right now.

<-- i edited this. I really like it. <-- and this.

I've been seeing art in almost everything lately.

Things I want to do right at this moment:
-Get my license
-Find a job
-Go skydiving
-Go for a walk (it's too dark out)
-Hear good music instead of this crap that's playing.

Goodnight <3
Lovelovelove
-C


P.S. I love you chook!!!!

Beautiful Disaster.

I've found the little things to mean the most. I've found unwanted thoughts come at the most unappropriate or desperate times.
But, I do know...love happens when you're least expecting it. It comes like a tornando picking your feet off the ground.

Everything I wanted didn't seem to come so quickly

We trampled on what's left and still we disagree

As if I tried to make my life crumble,

As if I didn't pick myself when I would stumble.

I saw you in that picture frame,

With your head bowed with shame.
Why did you do this?

How do you exist?

Everything in my head says,

really, I'm alive

But my heart doesn't feel

what you would soon contrive.

Everything is so beautiful in the world of hatred. You may see distruction and evil in what's wrong with our society. But if you look close enough, you might see the beauty in what's not.

A beautiful disaster.

And maybe that's what my life is exactly. I don't have everything figured out yet. I don't understand a lot of things.

A lot of things happen to me that I'm not neccessarily okay with. But even though it's all so disasterous, it's still beautiful just because it's my life.

I'm lost in the words I find so inevitable.

A leopard's spots.

Not everyone realizes the meaning of life. I really feel bad for them. Living their life worrying and stressing. If you take a step back and look at everything, you'll truly see... everything really is OKAY. I myself am can be like that sometimes. Everyone can.

I have an issue. Many actually. I care about every person to the fullest extent when I get to know them. I know what you're thinking. "Corbin, how could that be an issue?"
Let me tell you, it actually creates heartbreak. Not all the time. When I really love someone, I really love them. I would do anything to see them smile. And then when they hurt you, like most people end up doing, your world crashes down.
Wouldn't it be so much easier to be detached and not have any expectations for people? Then they really couldn't let you down.

I need to work on that. Although, I'm not going to stop caring for anyone. You can't change a leopard's spots. I just need to work on my fears of people hurting me and letting me down. Obviously there's a reason I feel this way. Maybe past experiences.

One thing I know...I'm NOT going to be that girl who has trust issues. I can't. And I won't.
Like I've said before...
I won't spend my life jaded.

Scroll down & read my other post from today :) Yes, I changed my layout!!


Oh, don't let me walk away from the love I've never felt.
For everything you say somehow makes my heart melt.

How I could live for the rainy days when everything just seems to go your way.

Just who we are.

I can see clearly, everything lingering from footsteps where you once stood.
Like a cave you hid in for too long. I was calling your precious name out fromon top of a mountain. Still you stood as still as the fall breeze around us.
Here I am, living undefeated. Do you expect me to pick up the rose you trampled on? It's now dirt.
Beauty surrounded my heart and filled it with hope, although...I wasn't quite sure where it was all coming from. From a distance perhaps. Or maybe it was waiting for me to discover, hopelessly wandering looking for a hand to grab it.
Or it may just be my own mind longing for the forbidden heart to care.

No one else cares to dream.
No one goes to sleep with the country stars in mind.

Of course, just when we think we've reached our breaking point, the rain begins to shower down upon us, disregarding our tender lips.
And just when we think we've conquered the world a new place, maybe majestic, maybe infinite, begins to form.

We might have to defeat an army, go through a forest,or emerge from an ocean to truly realize...

Just who we are.

I love you all.
Peace. Love. & God.

-C

Another Sunday.

It's been a long time since I've posted anything on here.
That makes me sad.

Another Sunday. I'm not a huge fan of Sunday's. Better than Monday's though.
This weekend was SO refreshing for me. I did everything I would have wanted to. Not that it was a super exciting two days. No. It was just right.

I feel for once, so ready, so accomplished. I can't believe after so long I feel a bit relaxed and prepared. Just for everything.

I've been thinking about a lot. Things that a lot of people never think about. Just about the world, about life. Things that are too deep for me to explain also. Seriously, I am just really thankful for my life. I have so many up's and down's. Sometimes it feels like there's more down's than up's. But you know what?
IT'S OKAY.
Because everything I've gone through makes me the person I am today. And I really am proud of who I've become.

My friend told me something the other day. She said, "Corbin, you're the most honest person I've ever met. You never give into peer pressure."
You know how awesome it is hearing that?
Although I wanted, "thank you so much!" to come out, I ended up saying "Well, I try." It made me happy hearing that. You know, someone actually acknowledging my strengths and something I work so hard on being.

I really do try to be an honest, true person. I try letting everyone know that I will always be there for them. Everyone needs someone like that.
I told a different friend "if you ever need anything, anytime, anywhere, don't hesitate to ask me. I'll always to a true friend to you."
You know what she said? "Thanks corbin, that means so much. It made my day."
That is just so awesome to hear.

This song below, I did not write. It's a linkin park song & it's about struggles & God & I'd love for you to read it. I love it. It's really relatable.

So much stress keeps running through my mind now
I fell into a mess that I wish that I could climb out
I guess I'll hide it so nobody will find out that way
Everyone thinks that everything is fine now
at home things are messed up with mom and dad
and at school all my friends stab me in the back
no one is real anymore
I hate the way they act
there is so many things that I wish I had
so God if you're there do you understand?
don't you care about anything that's happening?
it's not fair to put me through all this junk again
you see that I'm scared so help me if you can
so please speak loud and clear cuz I'm listening
I need to know that you're real cuz I'm struggling
you need to show that you're here cuz I'm stumbling
show me that you care and this is why I'm saying this

It goes on to talk about how he gave his life to God.

I love you all.
lovelovelove
-C

SCHOOL & SUCH

Well, yes, school was today...
Can't say it went bad, but I can't say it went wonderful either.

One thing I CAN say is that things are going to be different for me this year. (In a good way!)
I'm changing a lot of things. I'm eliminating some bad things and definitely adding some good. I'm hoping to reinvent certain things. I'm hoping to limit my time with people I don't want in my life as much, and have some new people in my life!!

People don't understand why some people are bloggers, and it's like, I don't expect you to understand when:
1. You've never tried it before
2. You don't like to write
3. You're not a "journal" kind of person.
Mostly, blogs do act as some sort of journal for people. It helps a lot, and helps me remember everything. I'm just naturally a person who writes (or in this case, types) a lot. So I love it.

Currently listening to: Whatever it is by Zach Brown Band.
Excellente` song!

I'm going to start "photoblogging" which is where I take pictures of a lot of my life, and put em up! Just have to figure out a few camera/computer gliches!

I actually have some homework. I know, first day, already homework!

Have a wonderful day!!

lovelovelove
-C

PICTURE (:

My AMAZING cousin named Kobe & I!!!

I'm seeing the resemblence!

(BTW: i seriously love the guy with the cowboy hat in the background! HA!!)

We were at a restaurant!

Goodbye Summer. See you next year.

I'm feeling like I can do anything I put my mind to right now... that's a good thing!
With schools starting in TWO DAYS I'm really nervous, but there is some excitement in there somewhere. Maybe deep, deep down there, but HEY, it's there!
Summer has come to an end...

Somewhere in this town
Is where we once found
Who we were,
Who we've came to be.
All that's left,
is what we'll never see.
For it's hidden beneath our breath
That's crying out our deaths.
Someday we'll know
The stillness that's below.


If anyone ever needs help with anything, anytime, anywhere...please let me know!!
Email me for my phone number (or just email me): peace_11c@hotmail.com

lovelovelove
-C

Thinking...

Today I bought some shoes. This school thing is exaughsting already, and school hasn't even started. Thinking about it is enough.
It's hard to believe I'm in 11th grade. I'm actually just relieved.
I know so much is ahead of me, and that's really refreshing :)

You know, I've been thinking about life and when I think about my future life...here's what I think about:


Traveling and seeing beautiful places.
Being with my family.
Having (many) children.
Doing things that are adventurous & really make life worth living.
Being just generally happy.

Are those high hopes? Are they reachable? I don't know. I'll have to live my life and see. Those aren't even close to all of my aspirations, but those are the things that I've been thinking about.

I'm in the weirdest mood ever. I feel like doing absolutely nothing. That's unusual for me.
I feel a bit stressed, also. I don't feel like talking to anyone, which is also unusual for me. So I won't. I'll do nothing, I won't talk to anyone. I just need to go to sleep early, wake up, and start over.

I wish I lived near a lake. I would be sitting on a doc & just thinking.

Please don't judge me.

I guess it's the fact that I can't change certain things that pries into my mind.
I guess it's just that people see me differently than who I really am.

If you would take the time to know me, you'd know that I will become friends with anyone who needs a friend. I'll pray for the stranger that shoves me on purpose. I'll give the shoes I have to you if you don't have much.

So who is anyone to judge? I try not to judge people...& yet, still...people are wrapped up in their silly little lives, stressing about nothing and MY life.

I plan on becoming a better person as I get older, but I DO NOT plan on changing who I am for the acceptance of others. Especially ones who think they know the world, when they are so close-minded that they can't see what's worth living for.

just to fly away.

Unanswered Prayers

There's a song that I love.

It says:
remember when you're taking to the man upstairs
just because he doesn't answer, doesn't mean he doesn't care
Some of God's answered prayers are unanswered prayers
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.

Isn't that so true?