Time to time.

I haven't wrote on here in awhile. Just like I said I wouldn't. I've been a bit busy.

Today was weird. Weird things kept happening to me, and it was just not a "normal" day.
I got home, did a little texting and homework, went to jimmy john's and then to a football game. Came home late.
Sounds normal, right?
It just felt so weird. Something in my head keeps bringing me down and I don't know why. I'm usually so different. It feels as if insecurities are coming up wherever I look. How do they know how to find me so easily?

I try so desperately to remove all negative people from my life. It's easier said then done. It's one of those things you talk about but can never seem to accomplish. I call people who do exactly what I do stupid. I'm so hypocritical sometimes. Ahhh.

I feel like my mind is swarming with thoughts that I really just can't handle at the moment. Any other day I'd be ready to face the world.
Maybe I need some time to think about everything. I promised myself I wouldn't let my life go in this direction. Everything was fine, it used to be. I have to find a way to stop this.

I'm still looking for someone who knows everything about me. Even just someone who knows me really well. See, people think they do. But I'm a deep well. There's more to me than meets the eye. And if I'm being completely honest, I'm not like everyone else. I am okay with that. Really. I am.

I need one person. One person to say something to me. What that something is...? I'm not mentioning it. Because if I do, they'll say it to me without meaning it. I'm tired of meaningless conversations and promises. I want someone to tell me the opposite of what I want to hear. Tell me the truth. And tell me it's all going to be okay. Do you exist out there?
If you do, a hug would be nice. A few words of advice, dandy.
I'm usually the one giving all the advice.
Could use some from time to time.

I really want to write a message/poem. My mind is honestly so tired right now. I can't think. So I won't. I'm going to sleep.

lovelovelove <3