bring out the best in yourself.

happy autumn.



I want to tell you, you're beautiful just how you are. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Hello my love.

I'm sitting here listening to some music and the rain hitting the roof. The music is quiet enough for me to hear each raindrop hit the window.

Hmm...

Someday I think I'll make a good person. Conceited? I think not.

I think I'm a good person now, but I'm still on the journey towards getting to my destination. I make mistakes daily, as do you.

I'm satisfied with myself, yet I still strive to be someone better. You can always do better. Just as long as you can accept who you are; that's what counts.

I've been waiting to get a letter in the mail. An "old" friend. When I say old friend, I think of someone you know from 20 years ago. I know her from about 5 or so years ago, and we live so far apart. We used to write so much, and we just started again. I love getting letters. It means someone's thinking about you :)

She's such a good friend. I'm so thankful for her.

Now on the topic of friends, I am also thankful for my best friend. She accepts everything I do and say without judging me.


Life's about choosing friends who bring out the best in you.


I CHALLENGE you to do as many of these things you can today:

1.) Laugh as hard as you can about the smallest thing that makes you smile.

2.) Take 3 deep breaths as you think about just nothing.

3.) Call an old friend.

4.) Tell them you love them ^

5.) Hug someone you haven't in a while.

6.) Say "thank you so much"

7.) Do something you've been saying you'd do.

8.) Let your friends/family have their space

9.) Cry happy tears or something you've been holding onto.

10.) Try to do the right thing even if it comes out wrong.

It's amazing how truly magnificent your life can be. It's all up to you.

You can say your health, your family, your values, your money, your location, etc., is holding you back. But no, YOU ARE.

Don't wait.

lovelovelove

-C <3>

Time to time.

I haven't wrote on here in awhile. Just like I said I wouldn't. I've been a bit busy.

Today was weird. Weird things kept happening to me, and it was just not a "normal" day.
I got home, did a little texting and homework, went to jimmy john's and then to a football game. Came home late.
Sounds normal, right?
It just felt so weird. Something in my head keeps bringing me down and I don't know why. I'm usually so different. It feels as if insecurities are coming up wherever I look. How do they know how to find me so easily?

I try so desperately to remove all negative people from my life. It's easier said then done. It's one of those things you talk about but can never seem to accomplish. I call people who do exactly what I do stupid. I'm so hypocritical sometimes. Ahhh.

I feel like my mind is swarming with thoughts that I really just can't handle at the moment. Any other day I'd be ready to face the world.
Maybe I need some time to think about everything. I promised myself I wouldn't let my life go in this direction. Everything was fine, it used to be. I have to find a way to stop this.

I'm still looking for someone who knows everything about me. Even just someone who knows me really well. See, people think they do. But I'm a deep well. There's more to me than meets the eye. And if I'm being completely honest, I'm not like everyone else. I am okay with that. Really. I am.

I need one person. One person to say something to me. What that something is...? I'm not mentioning it. Because if I do, they'll say it to me without meaning it. I'm tired of meaningless conversations and promises. I want someone to tell me the opposite of what I want to hear. Tell me the truth. And tell me it's all going to be okay. Do you exist out there?
If you do, a hug would be nice. A few words of advice, dandy.
I'm usually the one giving all the advice.
Could use some from time to time.

I really want to write a message/poem. My mind is honestly so tired right now. I can't think. So I won't. I'm going to sleep.

lovelovelove <3

To my father.

I would really appreciate if you read my post below, which I wrote today! And any others you haven't yet read? Thank you! :)

I want to dedicate a small section to my father who passed away in March of 2002. It was his birthday two days ago.
There really was no one else even close to like him. He had the best sense of humor anyone could. He was really talented with music and art. He was the best writer.
I miss mostly being with him in general and hugging him and going places with him and just learning more about him everytime I saw him.
Even though my mom and him were divorced, I know they were still each other's first love, and never did they stop loving each other.

Dad, I wish things would have been different and even though things turned out tragicly, I know somewhere you're happy.

Things learned & such.

I told you I wouldn't get lost in the crowd.
I'm hoping I will never have to break that promise.



Someone told me today, "No one will ever understand you, Corbin."
Hmm...
Maybe that's the truth. But I don't think anyone will every completely understand anyone else. Even themselves.
Maybe you won't ever even know who I am at all. That's okay. I choose to open up at full to few people. Maybe you will never get the chance to hear what I really have to say. That's okay too. I know who I am, and really, if you choose to not see through my mistakes...well, who's at fault here? Who's looking ignorant now?
Anyway, I don't blame them for telling me that. It's the complete truth. I'm a complex person. To be honest, I'll never understand you either. But I'm willing to find out more about you.


I currently want: Book, "Nights in Rodanthe" by Nicholas Sparks.
He's so amazing <3

I have learned recently... (this is going to be a reaccuring section on every one of my blogs.)
Sometimes the people who are closest to you feel the worst about you. Sometimes the people you think you know, know the least about you.
I found out who I can trust lately. Family member(s) too. Which in my opinion, is worse than finding out you can't trust your friends. Family should be there for you all the more, ya know?

Life is short. Too short sometimes, too long it seems at times. But overall, this life is perfect timing to do with everything.

I'm promising you right now I'm putting some of my photography on here soon. I will get to it. Ah, maybe if I keep saying that I'll actually believe it.
I'm so ammature. Like, most of the pictures I take are taken with my cell phone. No editing, no special lighting. I guess you just have to try to see the art in them.
Cuz I truly believe there's art in everything.

Something else I've discovered... I'm so non-judgemental. That's actually a good quality I see in myself. I will help anyone, I don't care if I don't agree with who you are. I'll still be a friend to you, offer advice even though I'm by far not an expert at any problem.

I've written a lot today. I guess there's a lot on my mind, and I have a lot to say.

I've never said this, even to myself. I avoid it at all costs. But...I'm not super strong. I can't avoid all negative feelings. Things do eventually affect me. Truth be told: I'm a strong person. I am. But I'm not a complete stone. No. Not yet.


I seemed to lose control of the bitterness you left
And now I can't even think,
Because everthing's a mess.
It all came crashing down on me,
like the wave pulling you under.
I can't even begin to see,
Past this storming thunder.

I wrote that in about 20 seconds. I'm basically being completely literal too.

I hope you all have a wonderful week. Perhaps you should wish me the same. Because this week should be, to say the least, "interesting".

lovelovelove
-C