keep me far upon this mountain, far away from any distress,

thank you to anyone who is reading this. i appreciate when people read anything i write. and really, i don't understand why anyone would find my blog interesting. it's just me, talking about things that don't really matter or have anything to do with you. and that's why i'm even more appreciative to anyone who reads this blog. i hope you like it, i really do. xo

yesterday, was amazing. it was the best day i had in such a long time. and i'm not even sure why. nothing really happened that made it spectacular. it just was. some things are like that, there's no explanation at all, it just is.

currently listening to: save your scissors, city & colour

i have this feeling i wanted for so long, i feel   h a p p y.

and it just shows me what i'm capable of, which is even more happiness.

yesterday, i drove for a total of a couple/few hours. i don't mind. in fact, i like it. listening to music, the windows down, just driving, floating along...it's great.

i need to be heard. i've found this. i'm not the kind of person who craves attention, i'm fine being the one by herself in the back of the room sometimes. but, i do need people to listen to me. when i have something to say, i feel i have to say it. if you just listen to me, you'd see the pain i have deep inside, you'd see how much of a happy, optimistic person i really am. you'd see i'm probably one of the most caring people. that's why i want to be heard. i don't want to be thought of as a different person. i'm trying to let people get to know the real me.

"Look… I know my band isn’t big. I know I’m not an A-list celebrity… Hell, I’m not even a Z-list celebrity. I am just like all of you. I don’t have much money… but you know what? That doesn’t mean I can’t help. You don’t need money to change the world. You need spirit. You need love. Though I don’t have much, I do plan on making some sort of small donation. You don’t have to do the same but I am asking you to at least help spread the word. If you don’t want to do this for me… I understand. If you hate my band or love my band, that’s fine. But do it for Angelica Joy. Do it for her mother who just wants her precious child to be able to smile back at her."

-lead singer, the cab on his blog

--> wow, i'm convinced i want to marry this guy someday. his words inspire me so much, i comment on every single post on his blog, i hope he doesn't think i'm a stalker. it's not their band website or anything, it's his personal blog that he writes on, and it's amazing. i could learn a lot from that guy. but first, we should fall in love. ;)

looking at old pictures makes me want to smile and cry at the same time. i wouldn't be surprised if you, dear reader, have felt like this too. it's kind of universal, uncontrollable in a sense.

there goes everything i ever wanted, slowly dwindling away

sometimes i don't see myself

or remember who you were yesterday

how will we survive

to know somehow we'll always be alive

driving, not looking at the lines

the sun has been faded

100 mile signs

everything makes sense,

all inside my head

but this is where it ends.

the clouds are smiling at me

so i smile back

the sky is looking down

like there's something that it lacks.

you're that leaf that landed here

but the wind picked it up,

away from me, i fear.

i see you in my smile,

i see you in my dreams

i feel you and the inside of me screams.

cars passing by so fast

if i could blink fast enough

i'd see them moving past,

but i can't.

too much time too far away

i can't remember who i was yesterday

i walk down this empty street

i'll keep walking til i have nothing else

i'll count the stars while so discreet

i know i'm not a good poem/song writer. i know. but i enjoy the process. i just wrote this as i was writing this post. i wish i knew what all i was feeling meant. all i know, is that it means something. at least to me.

lovelovelove