i once was lost, but now i'm found

i'm here to smile. though i can't promise tears will never exist.

deep down i'm happy, but right now i feel a sudden sadness. trying to deal with it gets hard.

i get into these moods sometimes.

why do you want to be in my life? prove to me i'm worth it. prove to me you're capable of loving me, and that you're worth my love. i have a lot to give away. i don't like to waste time on people who will hurt me. intentionally. i like people who are here to help me when i fall. because i will always be exactly that person.

i don't really know what i'm saying today, words just come out.

it's becoming clear to me how much some things really are changing. and how i'm trying to find all these ways to adapt. i can't change my past, so i don't worry about it. i can't control my future 100%, so i try to take life as it comes. i try not to look at things as "bad" or "good" but just neutral. i have had issues, but i don't see them as bad things. nor good things. i just see them. and appreciate them. does that make any sort of sense?

i'm not the type to judge you. i'm here to listen. i'm not the type to leave you when you need me the most. those people are duchers. don't do that to me. ever.

i'm lost without god. i can't imagine my life without him. honestly, it would be SO much different. i don't even want to think about where my life would be. i can say i don't think it would be going in a positive direction. but thankfully, i have him. ♥

currently listening to: amazing because it is by the almost

you caught me in your hands, like that bug in the summer night. so go ahead and scream, because you know you need to. you captured me so gently, but let me go to be free. you knew exactly why i lit up. and it was because as i flew around your hair that the wind caught so well, i saw the smile on your face. i saw how even in the dark you lit up the sky.

i wrote that in a minute or so. i don't know where it's really coming from. i know it's not great. not even close. but it gives me this amazing feeling. i can't explain it. maybe i'm different. so what? maybe i have more to offer than you "normal" people. notice the quotations. because normal doesn't exactly exist.

when it all comes down, the sunrise on the east side. will you be there to carry on? my wasted youth, this wasted time on you has left me shaken, wanting something more.

be my eternal light.