i've been waiting for my dreams to turn into something i could believe in,

I promise I'm more than a hopeless person.
I believe there's something in me worth keeping.
...And you should believe that about yourself too.

I'm realizing...I have more power than I know. Or have ever known. Things have been more difficult for me than I thought I was capable of dealing with. Yesterday I completely broke down. More than I ever have. I cried the hardest cry I had been holding in. Seeing myself like that completely scared me. Truth be told... I wasn't okay. And I'm not sure when these wounds will completely heal.

 Like I said before, I scare myself. Sometimes the world crashes down around me, and I feel so broken and scarred, unaware of how I will get myself out of the hole I'm in. I've felt more pain that I'd ever wish upon anyone. I can't see myself like that ever again. I can't.

BUT. I'm really one of the strongest people I know. That's why I'd take the pain for anyone. Because I feel I'm more capable of dealing with it, and I'd rather see myself hurt than them. Just know, I can't always be strong. We all have to break down at times, I believe. I am an optimistic person, and I am very thankful for that. But when so much is going on around me, I can't be that person. I think pain is neccessary for growth. Sometimes the world just gets in our way.

Sometimes when we're going through a lot, I think it's hard to do anything. Your mind is just everywhere, and we don't have the control we want because the water is pulling us under. Well, I refuse to drown. I kept telling myself, "Tomorrow I'll be happy" or "I'll be happy once I get through this." I can't do that. We can't. We have to choose to be happy at the exact moment we're in. That's when good is capable of coming into our lives.

I now know once I start to love someone there's nothing that could ever happen to make me unlove them in any way. That's the kind of love I want people to show me. Unconditional love. It's the only kind that truly exists.

I want to tell anyone who is reading this, if you ever feel breathless, I want you to come running into my arms. And know I'll be here for you to cry as long as you want. We can just sit here and not talk at all, because sometimes I feel that's what I need. I want to be that to someone.

I really wanted to include these things that people have written to me recently. Because they really mean so much to me. I feel like I can read them and feel a sense of comfort, and I'll never be able to say thank you like I want to say it in my mind. So please, just understand how thankful I am. To you people who I have included quotes from you to me, you are more amazing than I'll ever be. ♥ :

wow...amazing..i consider corbin as my inspiration motivation and admire her so dearly...i envy her so..well spoken and kind..i am sheddin happy tears for you corbin...i so blessingly love you and your whole fam...xoxo

I admire you so...and remember showing your true feelings is not a sign of weakness...and never be who others what you to be or do what they want to see...you a unique person..be true to yourself always by showing who you truly are..the good, bad, happy, sad, angry, depressed, joyful person that God created...

went to the blog again.As always amazing.You are so mature beyond your years.I love and respect all the things you stand for.You alwas lift my spirits and make me smile no matter how sad I am.Thank God he put you in my life.Xoxo

Life is difficult,life sometimes sucks, and not fair, but we live in a unfair world, Take all that you learn, common since,uncommon knowledge, book smarts, It still doesn't add up to how you feel inside......Be you, and always live by that...........

The most important thing that you need to know is your at school for a reason to learn ,you have to take all that you learn and then use that to overcome any petty problems,kids are not kind they don't have your understanding and wisdom so don't lose your focus.. you will get thru this, it will have an effect on your life, good or bad it's up to you, take control of your future, because you can and you will, Kim and I just thinks the world of you..Support is everything ......

you trully have a beautiful soul............

everyone at one point in thier lives feel's sadness there's no two way's around it... no matter how hard we try...your so inspiring to all of us and that's alot on such small shoulder's..but know this you have purpose in life grab ahold of it and run with it..have a great life.....

Corbin you are so wise beyond your years.You are going to do great things in your life.Never give up on yourself.God will guide you and be there for you always.You truly bless me.So glad you are a part of my life.I want to see all the marvelous things that you do.I love you more than I could ever say.XOXO

To one person who doesn't have a quote to me above, I have something to say to you (I hope you know who you are and read this some day. You all don't have to read this. It's meant for one person.) :

You are everything to me, my best friend. I have seen the worst and best in you, and even at your worst, I've seen more beauty than I've seen in anyone. I wish for you everything. I would do anything for you, I would cover myself in gasoline and jump into a fire if it meant you not feeling pain. I hope you believe that. Throughout our lives, we have been together nonstop. It scares me how much we are alike, yet we're so different. I apologize so deeply for ever hurting you in any way. I would take it all back if I could. I know we can't always get along and always agree, but I've never stopped loving you any less. It hurts me sometimes when I look at you to be honest. I want you to be your happiest self. I hide a lot of my emotions from you, and I think in my head that's me protecting you. I don't want you to see me sad for you. Inside I'm torn apart for you sometimes. I can't show that, and I'm sorry. I just would rather show happiness, even if it's not real. Does that make sense? But I usually am happy. You are the funniest person I know, honestly. And I know you can be SO much. You're different than ANYONE I've ever met, and have so much potential in this life. Please believe this, because I would never lie about something like that. I know you can do more than you'll ever know in this life. I know it. I want you to know that whatever happens in life is not going to slow you down, but accelerate you. The negative things in our lives can be positive in the longrun. If I could give you any advice, it would be to never let anything hold you down. Believe in yourself and know that nothing could ever happen to make your life less than it could be. Please remember to be happy through everything. Sometimes God gives us situations to make us stronger and for a purpose. Throughout everything I've been through, there was always something good that came of it, and I hope you can see that too. It made my life 100% better. It's hard to see sometimes, but if we can see it, it makes us one of those people who are rare and unique, and that's amazing. I'm not someone who is deserving of giving you any kind of advice but if one word I say can help you, I'll try. Even though I'm not sure if I have that kind of power. I want to end this on a happy note, because I think you're one of the easiest people to talk to. I know that whenever I tell you something bad that happens to me, you always find a way to reassure me and say something to turn it positive. I think we can be that for each other. I'm sorry this is so long, but I really have a lot to say. Also, I know that we are in each others lives for the biggest purpose I will ever have in my life. I always know what you're talking about or even thinking, and I think I know you better than a lot of people, whether you think so or not. I know I can be annoying sometimes or come off as rude, but I say things for a reason, sometimes not for a good one, but with most of the things I say, I mean with good intentions. It just doesn't come out that way sometimes. I guess that's the problem with me.

Basically, I want to say, you are forever my only best friend, my number one, and the only thing I'll ALWAYS have. I'll always be here for you, I want you to be able to tell me anything. And I'll always be on your side.