reflections...come unto me.

Hold on, be strong. no matter what you're going through, you know it's going to okay...today.

i've found the smallest things bring the most happiness. and i've found things always turn out okay if you believe it will. i've never had a situation end badly forever, it always gets better. and although pain exists at times, it goes away with time. time is this amazing phenomenon that our world revolves around. people rush, people are busy, our world is fully about time. something that really doesn't even exist at all. it shouldn't be about that. life isn't about how much time you have or even how long you live, it's about how much joy was in those years. when we rush things, it never turns out as good as it would if we just relax and enjoy the moment. i try to do that. i like conversations that make you feel free. the kind that you want to keep thinking about. and you walk away knowing care is there. i need more of that. i miss people. i miss having the people that made me feel like i could fall back and they would catch me. i still have them but i feel as though i'm drifting away. let me rephrase that. THEY'RE drifting away. and i don't like it. but i'm accepting it. and i'm not making a big deal of it, because i know they are wrapped up in some things, and soon they'll unwind out of it and realize what they've been missing. which is me that they will miss. i don't mean to sound conceded at all by that. but it's just that i miss them and if they love me as much as i love them, they'll miss me too. i'm a good friend. i pride myself in that because i care a lot about people. sometimes i think i care too much. but i can't change that about myself. i choose to see it as a good quality more than anything. and i feel lately as if i'm just letting things happen, and not being so controlling about everything. i have a tendency of doing that. but i'm trying to drift through things and let it all fall into place. because i realize i can't control every aspect of life. now i just have to fully accept that. i'm not perfect. very far from it. but i'm very proud of how far i've come and i'm proud of the person i've become in general. i think i'm a "good person". i have strong beliefs and am spiritual. i love god with everything in me. i have a lot of dreams. i like to help people. i am making good relationships. i'm ready for some adventure. i mean, what more could i ask for? i'm sure there are things but guess what? i'm content. and i'm happy. that's all i ask for. i have to get through things daily but it's okay. who doesn't have to? answer: nobody. some more than others, but we all basically have the same messed up things in our lives. stressful situations. but it makes us stronger. and i'm happy to say i've climbed this mountain. and i'm not going back down.
everyone hurts us eventually, and we will hurt others eventually. we just have to figure out who's worth it all and remember to forgive them and ourselves.
well, things are changing and have been changing. and as much as it scares me, i have to believe it's good change. as much as i miss people and want those memories back, i can't change this. i have to keep moving and remembering who i am and that everything happens for a reason.

goodbye for now.

remember at least someone out there loves you. and would do anything for you and to see you smile.